Congo 101, Lesson 1: Geography

This is the Congo:

(from here)

At the moment there are 11 provinces (this will go up to 26 in the next few years as part of the new constitution). I’m going to share with you a Congolese friend’s theory of how you can identify people from different regions.

People from Equateur, where the forests are, are generally pretty hot-tempered and boisterous, like the steamy climate of Equateur. They’ve got an easy-come/easy-go mentality. After all, they live in the plush forest. For example, you kill an antelope one day. A neighbour comes by and asks for a piece. Why not? Another antelope will come along again tomorrow. (Welcome to the classic Equateurian Mobutu’s philosophy on distribution of foreign aid!) People from Bandundu and the forested areas of Orientale also fit into this category.

Then there are those from Bas-Congo and the East, who are used to a cooler climate where one has to plan and plant and wait for the harvest. These folks are disciplined, more reserved and are probably the origin of the term ‘bean-counter.’ These people are hard workers. (No coincidence, I’m sure, that my friend himself is from the East.)

Those from Katanga and Kasai are living out the legacy of Gecamines, the mining enterprise that controls most of Congo’s mines. The Katangans and the Kasaians know that the country’s wealth comes largely from their provinces and they are duly proud. Add arrogant and aloof and you’ve got the full picture, so my friend says. He forgets I used to live in Kasai and didn’t come away with quite the same impression… Then again, you don’t find too many Katangans in Kinshasa. I’d imagine they think they’re too good for our dirty smelly urban sprawl after the civilised likes of Lubumbashi, Congo’s second city.

Which leaves the Kinois (those from Kinshasa la Belle – or Kinshasa la Poubelle (Kinshasa the Trashcan), depending on your personal view). I’ll add my own bits of theory here. The Kinois are all about image. They’re trendy, loud, in your face and usually dancing. It’s a lot of talk with not nearly enough action. They don’t have much regard for the folks next door. In Brazzaville, just across the Congo River, they say everything bad to be found comes from Kinshasa, from the thieves to the instability. The Brazzavillians seem to forget that even their toilet paper comes from Kinshasa. But here’s the thing about Kinshasa: ca bouge. The city is alive and can only rarely be caught cat-napping on Sunday mornings. Love it or leave it.